Kids

*I actually posted this on my WoW blog, but ya know what? It belongs on my real blog too. So Sayeth me.*

If you look back in the category this entry is posted in, you’ll find a time or two where I struggled to balance my love of the game with Real Life. And I came up with what I thought were viable solutions. And they might have been, had I not realized a few things.

Now, it’s only fair to mention my recent rethinking of these ideas came about when my 14 year old recently developed an attitude about me playing at all. This started when I decided it was okfor me to raid twice a week, and let the family either fend for themselves, or order pizza. I was rewarded with an eyeroll from the 14 year old. To which I quite logically replied with a very good point. She gets 2 days per week off from school. Hubby gets two days per week (usually) off from Uncle Sam. Why should Mommy NOT get 2 days a week off?

This is when It dawned on me, she does not see me staying at home, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the finances, etc as work. I very much think, at least the youngest sees it as something she’s entitled to. That ends now. Mind you I’m NOT complaining about my job. Not a bit. It’s what I want. I enjoy knowing that when Hubby comes home from work, all he has to think about is relaxing, or planning whatever he needs to do for the next day. His day never ends when he leaves “the office” for lack of a better term.

A few days later, I was running a quick heroic. And by quick I mean 20-30 minutes tops with some guildies. The phone rang, I told this same daughter to answer it, it was my mom, and I’d call her back in an hour. My Mom understands, it’s no big deal. So she does that, and then proceeds to start chattering about something she had to do on the upcoming Friday. Nothing emergent, nothing that couldn’t wait 20 minutes. So I nicely said wait until I take my headphones off. She had a fit. I ALMOST felt guilty. But then I realized something. I wasn’t asking for much. I wasn’t neglecting her. She was using very bad manners. The “no talking to me when wearing headphones” should be no different than our already existing rule. No talking while I’m on the phone, or conversing with another adult. It’s called respect. A concept my kids understand most of the time, but struggle with on occasion. This was one of those occasions.

My having headphones on when she wants to tell me something that can wait 20 minutes, is no worse than her listening to her ipod so loud she doesn’t hear us asking her to go do her chores. I confronted her with the fact that we do not push ourselves into HER activities with her friends, or her conversations, or anything of the sort. She hates when I’m right, but she admitted it. I would like to pint out however, that 98% of the time I’m playing and they are home, I AM completely available. The “headphones” on times are few. Everyone has their hobbies. And when prioritized correctly, there shouldn’t be guilt associated with them. Why then in the past was I finding myself feeling it? Because I WAS falling behind on other things. I had no routine. Having that, has brought me way more enjoyment of my hobby and my home. Here’s my typical day (times are subject to change).

1. 9:00am Wake up, have coffee!! Coffee is a must.

2. 9:05am While coffee is brewing, or first cup is cooling off, straighten up the kitchen, start the dishwasher, dust and vaccuum. 5 minutes usually. Small house!

3. 9:10am Sit down, read emails, check twitter, live journal, my RSS reader, and pop on WoW to do my fishing daily.

4. 9:30am Get another cup of coffee. 5. 9:30- 10ish am Blog 6. 11:00am Take the dogs out/clean yard

7. Noon: Log in, relaxed, and play WoW knowing I’m done for a few hours.

8. around 2:30 the first kid comes home, go AFK from WoW, check on homework, listen to hyperspeed tales from school, get ignored for boyfriend texting her, and then watch her run off to hang out with him.

9. Youngest comes in an hour later. Check on homework, listen to bus drama, watch her go play outside.

10. Turn back to WoW, clean out bags, find an inn, repair gear, log out.

11. 4:00pm Start dinner.

12. 5:00-6:00pm Eat dinner, and clean up afterwards. See hubby fall asleep on the couch, Poor guy. Oldest goes back to her boyfriend, youngest settles in at her computer or back to her friends.Then I log back in for the evening.

Thursday fend for yoursef night seems to work for hubby quite well. It’s usually by this day that working 16 hour days has caught up to him, and shortly after dinner you hear snoring from the couch. What you don’t hear is me trying to keep him awake, because I’m in game. He gets a nice long nap, I get to raid, kids are off doing their thing. This works.

My whole point here, is to say don’t let yourself be guilted by your game time if you have everything else in order. I don’t know why it seems WoW players bear the brunt of this more than any other hobby. Maybe because of the negative connotations it receives by those outside the game. The too many to count stories of neglect, or addiction. Or the general “Loser” theory that non-players tend to have. Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t rethink things when you legitimately feel you spend TOO much time in game, or it is having serious effects on your home relationships. God knows I’ve rethought things a few times. But I’ve come to realize what I am entitled to, what I have earned.

I am NOT “just” a stay at home mom. I am not just “mommy”. I am a woman with a hobby I enjoy, a woman who has her shit together. A woman that does several jobs wrapped up in one title, and deserves some time each day to enjoy herself, and I damned well deserve my 2 days off. Where others might use their time for crafts, or sports, or woodcarving(?) I use mine for a MMORPG. And ya know what? That is OK!