Posted by Lady Jess on Feb 3, 2010 in
Photography 
The two lenses on your right are the two new ones (Canon EF-S 17-55mm f/2.8 with Image Stabilisation and ultrasonic motor, and Canon 100-400mm F/4.5-5.6L with IS and USM for the curious), the bag is the FIRST equipment bag I have ever seen that didn’t look all manly and boring. Not to mention one that didn’t just SCREAM out “hey look! I’m expensive photo equipment!”. Unfortunately my monster laptop doesn’t quite fit. It’s made to hold a 17’ laptop, however while mine is 17”, it’s also deeper than average. Oops. But it fits my equipment nicely for travel and that’ll have to be enough.
I guess if we fly anywhere, one of the kids will have to carry it as THEIR carryon if I’m taking my laptop.
That is my whole set up right there. Camera, lenses, bag, filters, and flash. I can’t wait to try it out. Unfortunately, I still live in the state of Washington (emphasis on the WASH), and UPS didn’t deliver any sunshine.
Tags: Photography
Posted by Lady Jess on Jan 29, 2010 in
Photography Have I ever mentioned I do photography? Well I do. But I somehow can’t bring myself to say “Photographer” with an “I am a…” in front of it. Self doubt is a nasty thing.
I go into the PX almost weekly, and frequently see a guy with his little concession stand selling his framed photos. It never fails, I think to myself “I could do that” and then look at my own shots in print form and go “or not”. It’s disheartening. The idea comes out just as I imagined but the colors are blah, or the focus is off.
This is in part due to poor monitor calibration. There are tools you can invest in for this, but I never have. The other part is lenses. I’m lacking a couple key ranges in my lenses. Birds and animals tend to never be at the 250mm focal range when I’m around. Oh no. They see me and settle somewhere at the 400mm range. Or, I find that the lens I got thinking it would do, doesn’t do as well as predicted. Though that’s only the case in one of them, and it came with my camera.
The solution is simple. Get the calibration tool so what you see on your screen is what you see when it prints, get the lenses you’re lacking.
The follow through is the hard part. I COULD get everything I need. I’ve taken care of every priority, I’ve done my research, I have a MILLION ideas and things I can do in my head but I can’t sort them out until I get through this wall of self doubt. The barrier erected itself just as I added everything to my virtual shopping cart on B&H Photo.
What if I’m not as good as I once thought I was? What if I’m like those people on American Idol auditions that think they’re good because family and friends told them they were awesome, only they are really bad?? What if if all the stuff people have said are really just Shmophies??
It’s not that I don’t trust my family and friends, I do! I just don’t see what they see. And that makes me doubt myself. So much so that I’ve sat here all day questioning whether or not my skill is worth the investment. Is it worth the final pieces I’d need to start doing something with this muse I’ve had rambling about in my head?
What if I get the stuff and I really do suck?
But worse, what if I don’t? Maybe I don’t shoot much here in Washington. But? What happens on that trip from here to the East Coast when I see that animal my lens won’t reach? or have that perfect print ruined by lack of proper color adjustment?
I have the will to do it. I have the ideas, and plans. I have a Do It Yourself (DIY) site saved for our new place. One that reduces the cost of studio lighting to wal mart prices. I could learn matting and framing, I could open an Etsy shop, I could rescue my self rejected shots by manipulating them in photoshop into something artsy.
But is this worth it? I may never recover the cost through the equipment. And does that matter? Shouldn’t it be enough that I’m happy with my work and enjoying my hobby again?
What about Hubby? He’s always believed in me more than I did, but he’s also seen me lose the spark and let the gear sit here for months. What if he’s lost that belief after all this inactivity? Or would he be happy to see me passionate about it again? I wish I could ask, but…that’s impossible at the moment.
No. I need to stop. I need to open my file cabinet and look at the paystubs from the 2 years I was selling my photos through C.I.L.M. for signature tags. People at one time DID pay for my photos. Maybe not in the conventional sense of buying a print to hang up. But to be used in Signature tags and graphics. And Not to brag, but I made a pretty decent amount of monthly play money while I was under contract.
Why CAN’T I do that again? Why shouldn’t I invest in myself again? Why shouldn’t I replace what I had to give up a few years ago. Why should I not get the rest of the tools I need to BE what I was then?
Only one thing is holding me back. And as usual. It’s me.
Tags: Ponderings
Posted by Lady Jess on Nov 7, 2009 in
OEF 2009,
Photography It’s been a week since I stated working on some of my goals regularly. So far it’s going pretty well. I spent alot of time this week beating the house into shape. Doing the deeper cleaning required to bring it to regular maintenance level. I’m happy to say, I am now able to dust and vacuum only and keep it looking good.
I also started regularly using my Clinique 3 step program regularly. At least twice per day. Sometimes I miss one, but I’m seeing results. Those silly bumps (not pimples, just bumps) are diminishing noticeably, my skin tone is evened out alot.
Yesterday, I got some baking supplies, and started baking goodies to send to Hubby and his squad. For the first time using less mixes and more fresh baked. I made almost three dozen chocolate chip with walnut cookies last night. Really liking having a stand mixer. It makes the dough so much easier to mix. Also in the plan are brownies, Peanut Butter Blossoms, and sugar cookies cut in Turkey shapes since I can’t send him a turkey on Thanksgiving. I also found a recipe for no bakes that doesn’t use oatmeal, so I’m going to mix up some of those too.
Every day I stay busy is another day that doesn’t drag on endlessly, and another day closer to him coming home. I’m not watching the news, just checking my “official” email. A Day with no emails is another day I know he’s ok. Taking the good where I can find it, and pushing through the rest. I’m not gonna wallow, I’m not going to sit here feeling sorry for myself, I’m going to do what I do best. Support the man I Love.
Posted by Lady Jess on Aug 15, 2009 in
OEF 2009,
Photography I took my girls out to spend their Gramma money today. Brenna bought a Twilight book, Alyssa chose a tshirt and potato chips. I decided to spend a little Hunny Money on some stuff myself. I love when the px gets in “retro” tshirts. I just can’t seem to resist them. Especially since the majority of the tshirts I had have magically disappeared. Damned teenage daughters wearing my size…sigh.
1. My Dell Mini from yesterday
To the left in the little holder is my cell phone, that should give you a decent idea of how small this laptop is. Also…I adore that cell holder. My oldest got it for me for Christmas in 06.
2. The first Tshirt…cracks me up!
for those NOT old enough to remember this movie, it is “Gizmo” from the movie Gremlins.
3. 
Pink Panther!!
4. Miss piggy on a Harley!
To this day I remember torturing my Mom and Grandparents with watching the muppets EVERY week…lol
5. We’re off to see the Wizard…
Also, I shopped for some cards to send Hubby. And i knew I found the perfect one when my oldest daughter picked it off the rack (they were helping) and said “ewww this one is gross!”. Needless to say it’s the first one I’m sending!…lol
It said something about knowing how much I miss him when feeling produce at the grocery store has NOTHING to do with freshness. I am a little traumatized that my 15 year old got the joke…
Posted by Lady Jess on Jul 25, 2009 in
OEF 2009,
Photography Today, I’m going to share one of my silly survival tactics for deployments. The Tshirt trick. This first thing you do is find your husband’s favorite tshirt. This ensures it will be really soft and cuddly from the amount of wear. When you’re about 3-4 days from the deployment, have him wear it after a fresh shower, with cologne/body spray whatever. He’ll need to wear it for about 3 days. Don’t ewwww at me, yes it will be a little (very little) ripe but it needs to be.
Then, you find something cuddly. I used one of his pillows the first time, this time I chose a floppy teddy bear. You spray the item with his body spray, or cologne, whatever he uses regularly. And then you put the tshirt over it. If you’re like me, the body spray doesn’t do anything for you straight out of the bottle. It only works for me, when combined with HIS scent. Hence the semi-ripe, but not horribly smelly tshirt. Place the shirt on your cuddly object of choice and Poof! you can cuddle with it at night, and have the comforting smell of your man with you all night. Without the snoring, and morning breath!
Disclaimer: Author claims no responsibility for wild dreams, fuzz up your nose, or random drooling.
