Squee!

Sorry about the lack of updates. I’ve been blank for a couple weeks actually. Nothing new to report until now. The important thing is…

R&R starts soon! I’m just waiting on updates from Hunny at this point as to where he is, and when he’ll be here. So, don’t expect much in the way of updates around here for a couple weeks. I’ll be ummm….Busy

Friday Fallback

Well I did my gaming posts on Monday and Wednesday. I did my half assed real life posts on Tuesday and Thursday. So here it is Friday, so I’m flaking out and doing a bullet list. To-Do’s, Have Done’s, mishmash hodgepodge.

Have Done:

• Kept up with Teressa’s Dragon Age story at Musings. They are just past Lothering now. It’s been a slow start but with new personalities coming in at this point I’m hoping it gets easier. I reversed the archives, so that it reads in order from start to current, because to me that makes sense. I also added lightbox so the images can be clicked to enlarge without leaving the page.
• Read more than half of Rhett Butler’s People. I’ve read and watched Gone With The Wind several times, and was almost expecting to be disappointed. But seeing it unfold from Rhett’s perspective, while staying true to the original has been impressive.

To Do:

• Get this house ready for Hubby’s visit. I’m trying to put it off until the last week. First off because I work better under pressure, and second because it’ll keep me busy during the worst of the waiting.
• Finish my current playthroughs of Dragon Age. The rogue, and the mage. I had hoped to explore all the origins but Dwarf doesn’t appeal to me. That leaves City Elf, if there’s time I may have a go at that. I also have played 2 out of three classes, leaving warrior as the only one I haven’t tried, and one ending I haven’t committed to.
• Stock the kitchen with Hubby’s favorite foods, snacks and drinks.
• Pick up movies I have been meaning to get.
• Clean the inside of the truck. Stupid damp weather.

The weekend will probably be spent reading, writing and gaming. Maybe some cleaning when I get bored with the rest. Refereeing teenagers, and trying to not get run over by the dogs. Did I mention I cannot wait til I have my other half here? Maybe I’ll go two weeks without a tension headache!

Defining Normal

My life isn’t normal, who’s is really? But for two glorious weeks in March I’ll have “My normal”.

I complained Tuesday about what was getting on my nerves for the last seven months. So today, I’m going to counteract that with what I’m most excited about. Even if it’s only two weeks, it’s the most normal I’ve had since July and I cannot wait.

10. Seeing his face. Other than pictures, I haven’t seen his face. He can rarely get on a computer, let alone one with a webcam.

9. Someone that actually appreciates my cooking, to cook for.

8. Conversation! Yeah I have people to talk to. That’s not what I mean. I mean laughing at the same TV show, or  arguing over who’s dog is smarter.

7. Someone else to yell at the dogs or answer the kids. Having two parents instead of just me.

6. Kisses

5. Hugs

4. Snoring

3. cuddles

2. smiles

1. NOT waking up alone!

I’m Going On a Rant Here

Nothing on earth bugs me more than people blatantly assuming that we have loads of cash just laying around because he’s in the Army. News Flash…it doesn’t pay that well. Yes we are a hundred  times better off than we were eight years ago. But that doesn’t mean we’re rolling in the dough around here by any means. We can’t impulse buy plane tickets, or computers or whatever.

On the other end of the spectrum, are the people that know we don’t make alot and base assumptions of of that, that we are permanently poor and should never EVER buy anything extravagant.

Every time I get something with a fairly high price tag this comes up.  It happened when I got my first digital SLR camera and had mentioned a few months earlier we couldn’t afford the Army’s monthly fee for family dental (which we DID start at the same time as I got said camera), and now with this computer combined with his Harley Down Payment, because SIX months ago, I used AER (Army Emergency Relief) to get a no interest loan for $400 car repairs. Oh and let’s not forget that because I don’t work I’m using “his money” and making no contribution to the household finances myself.

Yeah I supposed handling all of our finances, meal planning, cooking, cleaning. And of course the fact that I provide a ton of support so my husband can go and DO his job without worrying about a damned thing back home is no contribution either. When exactly did marriage start consisting of “his money” and “her money” rather than OUR Money? When did it start being a game of who does more, who provides more, and who’s not pulling their weight? Silly me thinking marriage was a lifetime relationship built on love, trust, and commitment in the eyes of God and each other, with someone you love for better or worse, richer or poorer. Apparently now it’s a business partnership, what happens if you’re poorer instead of richer? Do you like get fired now?

I would love to let some of these people walk in my shoes for ONE month. Just one. And I’ll even be nice and let it be when he’s not deployed, or away at training, or working crazy hours, or too tired to enjoy time together until the weekend. I’ll gladly hand over his normal monthly pay, and our bills, and watch from the background. Show them how anything more than what we can afford has to be planned out a year in advance, and show them just how to pray that nothing unexpected pops up before then.

They don’t take into consideration, that maybe these large purchases, happen once per year in a normal year. Or that every few years there are two times it happens.

1. We get a tax REFUND. That happens once per year. All larger ticket items are saved until that time. We have kids, and therefore get Earned Income Credit. It’s a nice treat once in a while. AFTER any major things are taken care of.

2. The Army pays pretty well when you reenlist…especially in a combat zone. And did you realize, when reenlisting in a combat zone, you get said bonus in a tax free lump sum rather than monthly taxed installments?

This laptop, his bike down payment, and his laptop are all coming out of those two things. And by God we have earned them. Him especially. But there’s always that person ready to throw in your face that you couldn’t afford such and such a couple months ago, but yet here you are with a new computer and talking about a Harley (did I mention he has been waiting 17 years for this??)!

This computer was not planned. Mine wasn’t supposed to go belly up on me. I just got damned lucky with the timing.

What’s even worse, is when they know the life you lead, and the hurdles you have to jump every day without landing face first in the mud on the other side, the sacrifices you have made to get here, and will continue to make over the years.  They know that you don’t dare get excited about the light at the end of the tunnel, because too many times it’s been the train. But the one time you’re so excited about something finally coming to fruition…they can’t be happy for you.

Rather than celebrate with you, they’d rather stew in the juice of their own sour grapes, or tell you that you have alot of nerve spending “his money” that way. Well excuse me for being excited about these things. They’re a big deal to us. And guess what Buttercup? He knows about every penny I spend. He has the ability, to say “please don’t” if he chooses, and I respect him enough to accept that. You know what happens nine times out of ten when I run this stuff past him? If the word Harley isn’t in the sentence, he asks why I’m telling him.

Now, about those shoes…

Here ya go. Have at it, walk a mile! On second thought no. I don’t want you getting grape juice on them. Besides, the awesome that is my Husband…is too good for you.

Tags: /Jessrage, OEF 2009

I’m NOT a Grownup I’m a Princess!!

It's going to be another one of those days ya'll. We have discussed my lack of patience before. But I'm not sure I actually can get across just how profound it really is. Seriously, I should have stock in "instant gratification"…you know, if that was like, a real company and stuff. When you try and think of me trying to be patient, just go straight to that bratty 5 year old you saw at the store in her pink princess outfit, stomping her patent leather clad feet, and shrieking at the top of her lungs that she DEMANDS that $25 lollipop!

Only for me, it's a laptop that I"m still waiting for. I'm actually waiting for ALOT right now. I can wait pretty well for one big thing, or one small thing. But when the list of things I'm waiting for gets to a certain point…I crack. I'm at that point. And you know what the stupid thing is? I am the worst about waiting for the "little things". Sure, I am excited as all get out for my Husband to be here for R&R, but waiting for that, I'm doing well. Same with the end of the deployment. BIG things here, and I can be patient about that.

But a laptop that I ordered? I want it yesterday!

My Nook E-reader? I want that now! (maybe to distract me from the laptop wait)

However, I am accepting no responsibility for my impatience at this moment. I'm blaming it solely on this computer. All of my hobbies, and mini projects are tied to it. Blogging, photography, scrapbooking (gotta print the photos!), gaming. And it refuses to let me do any of that. In fact, when I try to do more than simply browse, blog, and twitter, it totally turns it's back on me power off, ignoring my demands and pleas. It is the Mom keeping me from getting that lollipop! And I blame Dell for teasing me with purple glowing awesomeness then holding it hostage and making me wait.

I'm stomping me feet, and flailing about, and getting nowhere with it. I'm driving myself up the wall but it's not stopping me. Dammit, I want it all, and I want it now!!!

Oh, look there's my ride. It looks like a huff. I think I'll leave in it.

*Edited to Add: I no sooner hit "publish" and my status changed to shipped. Maybe I should have thrown my temper tantrum sooner eh? Yay for rewarding bad behaviour!!

Tags: /Jessrage, OEF 2009