Tick…Tick…Tick

One of my favorite places in the world is an amusement park in PA called Kennywood, and my favorite coaster is the Phantom’s Revenge. One of the key parts of this ride, to me, is that first hill. That’s where you start the ride, slowly, slowly ascending the first incline before dropping in a sharp banking right turn down.  That’s where I would like to be right now. Instead I’m experiencing the same effect but without the fun. We are in “D week”. This is the week the Hubby was supposed to deploy. All week we’ve been slowly creeping toward the big day. That is until today. Today, the big day got pushed back a couple days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to have him home an extra few days.  But there’s another side to it. I had accepted the first date as when it would happen. I was ready. I had my head around it. I would drop him off, not staying around to wait for his bus, just drop him off and come home. Rip the bandaid off so to speak. This is what works for us.  Finding out it’s now going to be a different day, is like slowly starting to peel that bandaid off the soft skin of your inner arm. You know it’s going to hurt like a bitch by the time it’s over, and just want to get it over with. It’s like my roller coaster car was ALMOST to the top of that big hill, and stopped, and reversed back to halfway up.

I know it’s hard to understand for those that don’t live it. Hell it’s hard for ME to understand sometimes, but there it is. We’re in a holding pattern. Meanwhile, I have my list of goals ready. I have my boxes ordered, 50 of them, so once I’m down to the last box, I know it’s almost over.

Goals you say?

• get in shape. No not just lose a few pounds, though I could afford to, You’d be shocked if I told you how much I could lose before hitting my normal weight again. But get in real shape. I plan to be able to complete an 8 mile hike up Mt Si by this time next summer.
• Cook/Eat better on a regular basis. No drastic changes really. More water, more fresh ingredients, more whole grains. Less eating out.
• Be a better housekeeper…lol we’ll see

For now, I’ll just continue the climb to the top, enjoy the time I have left with Hubby Man, and get my house in order for my one week of permitted wallowing after he goes. That’s right, I PLAN to Wallow. I give myself a week, make sure the house is clean beforehand, and then I can suck it up and drive on. Hooah.