I’m no longer a walking ball of stress. I’ve finally gotten to my "Zen" place in this deployment. It took a little longer than expected and I was really frustrated about it. Mainly because I’m impatient with myself. Whenever I’ve decided to learn something, I expect to understand it and be good at it immediately. Hubby has endured the ranting and raving that comes with that every time I’ve tried something new. This website, games, you name it.

I know it sounds strange to read that with my husband in a war zone I’m calm. But I finally had to recognize that I have no control over anything but me, my kids and my home. I can’t control communication, or whatever else happens over there, all I can do is deal with it. Recognizing that, and putting it to use is probably what will keep me sane the next several months. That and looking forward to his R&R, and after that his return. Knowing that we’ll be together for at least 12 months before we deal with this again.

And we will deal with this again. It’s inevitable. It’s what he does.

On the homefront, no more migraines! And the med they gave me to try and stop my random muscle pains is working. Hard to believe that all the stuff I’ve complained about the last couple years could all be related to ONE disorder. The itching ears, the IBS, the depression, anxiety, insomnia, fatigue (I swear by 4pm I was ready for bed most days). And I didn’t realize that the aches and pains were that plentiful until they stopped this last few days with the Neurontin. I just sighed and ignored them as best I could. I mean they weren’t crippling pains, I figured I was just getting older and out of shape. I know people with Fibromyalgia, and they’re pain is really bad. Mine wasn’t. I figured no way that’s what it could be for me. I haven’t felt this normal in ages. It’s kinda awesome.