I had myself an epiphany today. I am not in control. I am NOT in control. And that is OK. I can’t sit here and dwell on the "What If" anymore. All I can do is deal with the "What Is". Obviously there will always be a worry, with a soldier deployed in a war zone. But BESIDES that, there’s things I just can’t dwell on. Such as…

1. What if he gets hurt?  I love him, I support him, I take care of him.

2. What if he develops PTSD? I Love him, I support him, I take care of him, even if it means kicking his ass til he gets help.

3. What if he changes? Well, he’s loved me through several changes that weren’t all for the better (friggin hormones and brain chemicals!). For Better, For Worse, I love him.

I love him, he loves me. That’s What IS.