Clearing The Air
Why The gquit? What happened? I guess its time to get my side out there. I wasnt going to, but I think I have to. So, settle in, grab some coffee and bear with me.
Back when I wrote this post, I was informed by a trusted guildie that my GL had basically put a target on my back. He wanted me gone. I wasnt told details, just that I should know I was a target. At that time I had considered leaving my guild and my server, but I chose to change my mind, and wait it out. Things seemed to improve, get back to normal, and that was fine.
Until this week. Wed had a pretty successful raiding weekend. We cleared Kara and moved on to try our luck in ZA, where we went to 2/6. I attended these raids as two different specs. I was holy in Kara, because the week before I knew that ZA run was going to be short a healer, as my real life friend was out of town. So I went holy, and filled in. I kept the spec for about a week just for kicks and giggles, to see how well I could do dailies. Which by the way, I can do just fine. Saturdays Kara run, a healing helm dropped in Chess. Being holy at the time I was allowed to roll on it, and I won. We finished up kara, headed to ZA and a DPS had to go. I went and respecced back to shadow, since we had another healer available at that time, and no DPS. We downed the bear boss, then the Eagle boss, who dropped the Amani Punisher. I was again allowed to roll, because I am in fact DPS. and it was a large upgrade for me with over 50 more damage with my offhand. Other casters were carrying Princes dagger, I didnt think anything of it, and noone said anything to me at the time.
At least until I was told it was a topic of discussion in the forums by the aforementioned real life friend. Who then let me read it as there were some bits ratherupsetting said. It seems I was being used as an example of a loophole in our loot system, where anyone who could pull double duty could possibly take advantage by speccing one way to get that spec loot, and another to get that spec loot. Ok, that makes sense. An example is one thing. BUT the GL started the thread, with the suggestion that we force people to choose a main spec, that then cannot change be changed for a specified time period. And if it was changed before said period, they could still only roll on that specific specs needs. I have always stated I would leave a guild that forced specs in any way, shape, or form. Score one for the GL. He shoots, he scores.
Other disturbing things came up. I had transferred my hunter after she won a kara roll on a ring. Fact is she got alot of kara loot that particular weekend. But all but that ONE thing would have been sharded. No,I did not decide prior to that run to move my hunter, unless you count the change of heart 2 months prior. I had actually thought after the raids, that I didnt care much for raiding on her, but I did want to play with my blogger friends on Draenor without leveling an alt. It was on impulse that I logged in and announced I was going for it. A server transfer takes maybe an hour to go through. Sometimes even less. And during that process you cant log into or play that character without screwing up your transfer. So there is no way I could have started the process before kara, and finished it after getting the phat lootz. FYI: I still dont much like raiding on her.
Should I have passed on the healing helm? Maybe, in hindsight I sure wish I would have. But theres nothing can be done about that. Should I have waited to transfer my hunter? Probably, but I am not known for my patience, and when I get an idea I want to follow through that moment. Did I over react? Maybe again, but I waited it out the last time only to see myself portrayed as some kind of loot whore and made an example of. Should my real life friend have shared this off limits info with me? You bet your booty he should have. Friendship > Forum Rules. I would expect that anyone would want their friends to tell them when they are being talked about badly. I felt awful, I felt guilt that OMG I am a complete idiot, I felt stupid. But worse, I felt regret that none of the ones doing the complaining could bring their concerns to me directly. Thank god for the few that stayed objective.
So, I said my goodbyes and I transferred. It was only AFTER this that I found out the worst part. Apparently when I wrote the previously linked post, that put me on the radar, that prompted the guildie to warn me of my newly acquired bullseye, the GL sunk lower than low. I had already resigned as an officer. So I didnt know what was said about that post. All I knew was that I could see several visits to that exact page referred by the forums I no longer had access to. So I asked this guildie what was prompting all the visits, and he told me he posted it, and why. That was ok. What I found out todaymakes me sick. And strengthens my resolve that I made the right move. It was the GLs response to my earlier blog post.
jess and her bi-polar tendancies and flip flopping standpoints
Since WHEN is it OK to use someone’s mental illness against them? To use it as a way to blow off very valid feelings and opinions that just MIGHT disagree with your own? Its people like this that give anyone with a mental issue problems. Way to contribute to the stigma buddy! Make them feel ashamed that they have it, let alone admit to it. Of course its not the first time, there was another guildie long before my time that got the same kind of comment made about them on the forums. How he wasnt surprised when this member Turned bi-polar on him (I wish I could turn it on at will, Id never get behind in my housework, but unfortunately it just doesnt work that way), and how knowing said player for so long he concluded he was bipolar oh oh and he also believes biploar folks also have OCD!.
Its bad enough so many uneducated assumptions already exist where mental disorders are concerned. But why sink to that level? Until you attain your medical degree, you dont say crap like this about people, and you sure as hell dont use it to gauge their worth. He must have stayed at a holiday inn express the night before, thus enabling him to pretend to be a doctor of the appropriate type. (thanks Dlol)
Ignorance may be bliss, but its also not a good quality in any human being. Heres a thought, learn what Bipolar IS or IS NOT before you go spouting off about it. It is frequently cycling mood changes, between depression and Mania caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It was formerly known as Manic Depression. Mania for ME is basically me turning into a busy bee, and getting alot of work done in a really short time, as well as being unable to sleep. So CLEARLY I can see how my frantic chore completion and my insomnia during a manic phase could cause some random person on the internet problems, or make me less qualified to have an opinion. And my depression, well I dont even log on to my computer during those phases.
Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine guess what? I dont even have these phases that often. Its called MEDICATION. It also might interest you to know there are MANY levels of Bi Polar. Mine is pretty mild and easily controlled, allowing me to be myself 99.9999% of the time, it may progress as I age, as my grandmothers (who I inherited it from) did, but is still controllable. So when I have a strong opinion about something, its ME speaking.
As for FlipFlopping views, well I guess thats half the human race that has the ability to weigh both sides of an issue and change their minds based on new information.
And as Forrest Gump once said, thats all Ive got to say about that.
Im happy with my new guild, Thank you to my friends that supported me through this ordeal. And to the BA chat roomyou guys rock.
| Print article | This entry was posted by Lady Jess on June 12, 2008 at 9:49 pm, and is filed under General. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |














about 2 years ago
People can be idiots. That is a good thing though. It helps you know that when you move on it was the right thing to do;)
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about 2 years ago
Making those kind of comments and judgements is plain old ignorant and at the very least just unkind.
Especially if you’re taking medication and it’s working for you then it really makes no affect on other people whatsoever.
And people will have “flipflopping standpoints” (also known as simple changes in opinion to most) whether or not they have a mental disorder or not. That’s just a stupid thing to say about you.
I’m glad you got out of that situation Jess, it really was not good for you at all. (And wouldn’t be for anybody.)
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about 2 years ago
Your former GM’s a tard. Flexible players are gold mines in this game. The ability for ONE player to be able to switch between different specs at will to help out is a huge asset. We have a Paladin who as Protection gear, Holy gear, and Retribution gear and he frequently respecs 3 or 4 times in a single night so we don’t have to go hunting for 2 other players to fill roles that one player can do in a heartbeat.
He’s also a coward. An essential and important skill of a GM is knowing when to pull aside people and have a heart to heart talk with them. You can run a guild without people skills, period. The fact he talked all this crap about you behind closed doors proves that he doesn’t have a pair to begin with. Way to get out of dodge Jess, I’m proud of you.
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about 2 years ago
The main thing to remember about all of this (and what EVERYONE should remember) is this is a game. And that all of us (afaik) are paying our monthly fees and trying to enjoy ourselves. If the game or a part of it (guild, friends, quests, raiding, etc) gets to be no fun… Well, then it is time for a change.
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about 2 years ago
Sounds like you definitely made the right decision there hon. /hug
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about 2 years ago
As usual I have to agree with Softi and everyone else above. People like the GM just make my blood boil.
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about 2 years ago
Ugh. I’m happy for you that you’re away from all of that. There’s nothing worse than realizing people you thought were friends of yours have been bad-mouthing you behind your back. /hug You’re in a better place now, and it’s completely their loss.
Matt is right, flexible people are essential to the functioning of a raiding guild, whether it’s a spec change or running an alt instead of your main.. these are the people who can save raid nights by their willingness to do what is needed at the time, though they would much rather be playing the role they initally chose for their character. Friendship is supposed to be > than loot, and I think your old guild is losing sight of that.
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about 2 years ago
Friendship > is greater than any online gaming thing. Jess you are, as I have said a million times, awesome. Your new guilds are lucky to have you. For me raiding was not really about the loot (although certainly the loot is nice) but about having fun with a group of people — and trying to avoid getting yelled at for one of my many shackle mishaps– and the moment gaming gets any deeper than that it stops being fun — and it stops being a way to just release stress after a long day at work. While I certainly miss many people at our old guild I am glad to be someplace with (so far) a lot less ego involved.
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about 2 years ago
From this article, it sure seems you made a sound decision to move out.
First there’s the bit about spec and loot entitlement. For a team of players or guild leaders to ask you to change your spec so that their raid will have the proper composition and have a successful run that night, and then turn and say you can only roll for your primary spec, that’s garbage. Raid and Guild leaders need to get over the fact that loot is virtual and becomes obsolete within weeks. People, however, are the core spirit and character of your team. So I applaud you for getting out of the situation.
Then there’s the snide remarks about bi-polar tendencies. It would seem that the GM wants to have robots around him who are all programmed to do his bidding. What? People have different moods, different ideas, have the freedom to change their minds? Sometimes they’re excited, sometimes they’re depressed, sometimes they’re motivated to play, other times they like goofing off. Bad days, good days, sometimes just plain old moody days. Bah, send them back to the manufacturer and have them reprogrammed, they must be defective. Another round of applause for removing yourself from this toxic environment.
Its no coincidence that my favorite alt is a Druid named Moodyswinger. She can shapeshift to whatever form suits her’s and my mood at any moment. And if my GM had beef with that, well, that’s his problem, along with recruiting a new player to fill my moody shoes.
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about 2 years ago
We love you Jess. <3
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about 2 years ago
Thank you all for the support, it was and still is very much appreciated!
@Amava just to clarify a bit, I volunteered both respecs, but I do agree with you, and it’s nice to know I wasn’t ALL wrong:)
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about 2 years ago
“Being holy at the time I was allowed to roll on it, and I won” Seems like there was at least some minimal discussion as to who got to roll, and any objectors should have said so right then. You were respec’d for the beneifit of the raid. I’ve respec’d once for a raid from Shadow to Holy, and I hated it because it was not my skin, what further pee’d me off was that the healing wasn’t the problem, and the raid failed for sooo many other reasons. That you did it shows that you will willing to put the raids interest over your own, and decent gear for a respec is important for a respec to work as well, so the loot win put you in a better healing position for the ‘next’ time you were needed to step up.
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