Why The gquit? What happened? I guess its time to get my side out there. I wasnt going to, but I think I have to. So, settle in, grab some coffee and bear with me.

Back when I wrote this post, I was informed by a trusted guildie that my GL had basically put a target on my back. He wanted me gone. I wasnt told details, just that I should know I was a target. At that time I had considered leaving my guild and my server, but I chose to change my mind, and wait it out. Things seemed to improve, get back to normal, and that was fine.

Until this week. Wed had a pretty successful raiding weekend. We cleared Kara and moved on to try our luck in ZA, where we went to 2/6. I attended these raids as two different specs. I was holy in Kara, because the week before I knew that ZA run was going to be short a healer, as my real life friend was out of town. So I went holy, and filled in. I kept the spec for about a week just for kicks and giggles, to see how well I could do dailies. Which by the way, I can do just fine. Saturdays Kara run, a healing helm dropped in Chess. Being holy at the time I was allowed to roll on it, and I won. We finished up kara, headed to ZA and a DPS had to go. I went and respecced back to shadow, since we had another healer available at that time, and no DPS. We downed the bear boss, then the Eagle boss, who dropped the Amani Punisher. I was again allowed to roll, because I am in fact DPS. and it was a large upgrade for me with over 50 more damage with my offhand. Other casters were carrying Princes dagger, I didnt think anything of it, and noone said anything to me at the time.

At least until I was told it was a topic of discussion in the forums by the aforementioned real life friend. Who then let me read it as there were some bits ratherupsetting said. It seems I was being used as an example of a loophole in our loot system, where anyone who could pull double duty could possibly take advantage by speccing one way to get that spec loot, and another to get that spec loot. Ok, that makes sense. An example is one thing. BUT the GL started the thread, with the suggestion that we force people to choose a main spec, that then cannot change be changed for a specified time period. And if it was changed before said period, they could still only roll on that specific specs needs. I have always stated I would leave a guild that forced specs in any way, shape, or form. Score one for the GL. He shoots, he scores.

Other disturbing things came up. I had transferred my hunter after she won a kara roll on a ring. Fact is she got alot of kara loot that particular weekend. But all but that ONE thing would have been sharded. No,I did not decide prior to that run to move my hunter, unless you count the change of heart 2 months prior. I had actually thought after the raids, that I didnt care much for raiding on her, but I did want to play with my blogger friends on Draenor without leveling an alt. It was on impulse that I logged in and announced I was going for it. A server transfer takes maybe an hour to go through. Sometimes even less. And during that process you cant log into or play that character without screwing up your transfer. So there is no way I could have started the process before kara, and finished it after getting the phat lootz. FYI: I still dont much like raiding on her.

Should I have passed on the healing helm? Maybe, in hindsight I sure wish I would have. But theres nothing can be done about that. Should I have waited to transfer my hunter? Probably, but I am not known for my patience, and when I get an idea I want to follow through that moment. Did I over react? Maybe again, but I waited it out the last time only to see myself portrayed as some kind of loot whore and made an example of. Should my real life friend have shared this off limits info with me? You bet your booty he should have. Friendship > Forum Rules. I would expect that anyone would want their friends to tell them when they are being talked about badly. I felt awful, I felt guilt that OMG I am a complete idiot, I felt stupid. But worse, I felt regret that none of the ones doing the complaining could bring their concerns to me directly. Thank god for the few that stayed objective.

So, I said my goodbyes and I transferred. It was only AFTER this that I found out the worst part. Apparently when I wrote the previously linked post, that put me on the radar, that prompted the guildie to warn me of my newly acquired bullseye, the GL sunk lower than low. I had already resigned as an officer. So I didnt know what was said about that post. All I knew was that I could see several visits to that exact page referred by the forums I no longer had access to. So I asked this guildie what was prompting all the visits, and he told me he posted it, and why. That was ok. What I found out todaymakes me sick. And strengthens my resolve that I made the right move. It was the GLs response to my earlier blog post.

jess and her bi-polar tendancies and flip flopping standpoints

Since WHEN is it OK to use someone’s mental illness against them? To use it as a way to blow off very valid feelings and opinions that just MIGHT disagree with your own? Its people like this that give anyone with a mental issue problems. Way to contribute to the stigma buddy! Make them feel ashamed that they have it, let alone admit to it. Of course its not the first time, there was another guildie long before my time that got the same kind of comment made about them on the forums. How he wasnt surprised when this member Turned bi-polar on him (I wish I could turn it on at will, Id never get behind in my housework, but unfortunately it just doesnt work that way), and how knowing said player for so long he concluded he was bipolar oh oh and he also believes biploar folks also have OCD!.

Its bad enough so many uneducated assumptions already exist where mental disorders are concerned. But why sink to that level?  Until you attain your medical degree, you dont say crap like this about people, and you sure as hell dont use it to gauge their worth. He must have stayed at a holiday inn express the night before, thus enabling him to pretend to be a doctor of the appropriate type. (thanks Dlol)

Ignorance may be bliss, but its also not a good quality in any human being.  Heres a thought, learn what Bipolar IS or IS NOT before you go spouting off about it. It is frequently cycling mood changes, between depression and Mania caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It was formerly known as Manic Depression. Mania for ME is basically me turning into a busy bee, and getting alot of work done in a really short time, as well as being unable to sleep. So CLEARLY I can see how my frantic chore completion and my insomnia during a manic phase could cause some random person on the internet problems, or make me less qualified to have an opinion. And my depression, well I dont even log on to my computer during those phases.

Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine guess what? I dont even have these phases that often. Its called MEDICATION.  It also might interest you to know there are MANY levels of Bi Polar. Mine is pretty mild and easily controlled, allowing me to be myself 99.9999% of the time, it may progress as I age, as my grandmothers (who I inherited it from) did, but is still controllable. So when I have a strong opinion about something, its ME speaking.

As for FlipFlopping views, well I guess thats half the human race that has the ability to weigh both sides of an issue and change their minds based on new information.

And as Forrest Gump once said, thats all Ive got to say about that.

Im happy with my new guild, Thank you to my friends that supported me through this ordeal. And to the BA chat roomyou guys rock.